Can't Stop Crying...Thank You Pregnancy...I'm Really Feeling the Love Today

Me and my dad 2002

Me and my brother-in-law, Rich. I was 10 years old when he married my sister. I grew up with more memories of him in my life than before. Never thought of him as an in-law. In some ways he was a lot like a dad to me too. Grateful for him in my life!

Soccer cake for Wylie!

Tough Jean is gone. I can't stop crying Jean is here. Some pregnancies I've had no filter and I'll just say anything mean or not. This pregnancy I seem to just cry over everything! Kenzie crossed the finish line in a cross country race...yup I'm crying at the finish line. Talking to a friend about my worries and fears...crying again. Cashier at Smith's was really rude to me...yup I'm crying. True story. Not just crying but uncontrollably crying. Like I had to go hide and try to get myself together and then upon leaving ran into a door because I couldn't see I was crying so bad!


Today was no exception. It was fast and testimony meeting at church. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and once a month we have a fast and testimony meeting. We fast and the meeting is open for anyone to share their testimony of the gospel. The bishop was presiding over the meeting. (A bishop is the leader of a congregation, or ward. It is similar to a pastor, priest, or rabbi. The calling of bishop is unpaid.) He started the testimony meeting with his own testimony of God's love for us. It was a very touching testimony and of course...I couldn't stop crying. I knew what he said was true and it helped me remember times in my own life that I have felt God's love for me.

Several people throughout the meeting also bore testimony of God's love for us all. Just when I'd finally stop crying I would be crying all over again. I kept thinking about my own dad and how I know he loves me. The last few years of his life before he passed away were very difficult. It was hard to feel that he still loved me at times. I spent a lot of time thinking and wishing I had a caring loving father figure at times I really needed one. I know now that my dad loved me even then. I just had a hard time feeling and seeing it. During the meeting I was also reminded that I've been very blessed to have people close around me that stepped up and loved me unconditionally like a father.

It was such a sweet reminder of all these people that love me. I know Heavenly Father placed my own father and these other strong men and family in my life to help me and be there for me. I wanted to get up so badly in this meeting and also bear my testimony of how much Heavenly Father is involved in our everyday lives and how much he truly does love each and everyone of us no matter who we are or what we've done. The thought of getting up just made me cry worse. I don't think I could even speak to get my point across I was crying so much! I even teased Greg and told him he should get up and bear his testimony since I could barely speak. At one point, I was hiding my face looking at Lilah who was coloring a paper under the bench.

Greg's Dad!

I thought I'd share these thoughts here tonight because I didn't do it earlier. That is my testimony. I know Heavenly Father loves us so much. He knows what we are going through in our everyday lives. He laughs with us and cries with us. He aches with us when we do. He is there. He understands what is best for us more than we understand. I have felt His love for me and for my family. It is real. I'm so blessed to have been put in this family I grew up in and in this family that Greg and I have built. I'm grateful for all these wonderful examples around me. Please know, you are also loved by our Father in Heaven. No matter what. He loves you. Don't think you are alone. You are never alone.


We finally celebrated Wylie's birthday a few weeks late with all our extended family tonight. It was so great visiting with everyone tonight and feeling this love after such a great meeting earlier today. I love that our family is so close. I wouldn't have it any other way. We're not perfect but who is? I put lots of family pictures on here tonight because I'm overwhelmed with love today. Haha! Enjoy!

Wylie was so excited to celebrate his birthday!

So blessed to have Greg in my life! Love this guy!